This Is Where It Ends​.​.​. (Demo)

by Abandoned by Light





released February 11, 2014

Sixth demo album of depressive black metal project Abandoned by Light by sole member Karhmul, all lyrics, music and vocals by Karhmul



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Abandoned by Light York, UK

Founded 2013 by Karhmul - Black metal to destroy the minds of the weak and defeated

All instruments, vocals and lyrics by Karhmul

Check out my side project Cernunnos:

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Track Name: Under The Black Sky, Alone
The rose has been blackened
By a torment known only to me
The beauty has long since been withered
By isolation that has broken the core
I lie in the ashes of a fallen life
Burned to the ground by hate
An agonising depression I feel
Under the black sky, I cry alone

Look into my eyes, see the grief
For the world that I see die
Watch as your life starts to fall apart
Leaving the debris at your feet
A skeleton of a world you used to rule
I am mourning for my happiness
As I watched it wither and die in my arms
Under the black sky, I watched it burn

Breathing in, the scent of loneliness
As I walk the deserted streets of death
Every time I think about life, I die inside
The thought of continuing fills me with despair
I long to reach out to others, to re-join them
But I know I’ll never achieve my goal in time
Before I leave this world, in isolation it will be
Under the black sky, under the black sky, alone
Track Name: I Am Not Me, I Am Not Them
I am not me
I am not them
A ghost on the wind
Drifting through the nether
A lost and solitary thought
A soundtrack of blood
To the musical parody of life
Written from the open wrist of man
An illustrated insignificance to the world
Should I lay in the dust, and leave
Then who would mourn my end?

This is where it starts
This is where I will end
All the flames of my life
Put out by the rain
For I will never be me
And I will never be them
The walls of safety I built over time
Have all crumbled to dust, mere memories
My vision has long been clouded
I see nought but the black of time
Time I have left in front of me

The grapes of my wrath
Grow fat on their vines
Feeding on the hate in my heart
Look up to the heavens, spat on by God
In these, my winters of discontent
My soul is withering and passing on
I am not me; I don’t think I ever was
I am not them; I don’t want to ever be
I am a smear, on the canvas of depression
Ready to disappear into the mist
Here, on my knees, in the shards

I am not me
I am not them
Track Name: Cages Of Regret
The dirt is soaked beneath me
By the tears I shed for my life
The dirt is soaked beneath me
By the blood I shed for my sorrows
No place to go, an eternity ahead
Trapped in this place I wait
Trapped by my cage of regret

Dark shadows gather in my mind
Filling in the gaps between thoughts
Expanding through the void in me
Replacing it with sounds of hate
Hate for you, and hate for me
No pleasure can be likened
The kind I feel in the dark

The sky black above me
Reflecting nothing but myself
Lying in the dirt in my cage of regret
Only my torments for company
Nowhere to go, no one to lead me
Out of this cage of regret I put myself in
Nowhere to go but down, and I’m already at the bottom
Track Name: In The Eye Of A Slipknot
Led through life by our suffering
Picked up through a thousand mistakes
Made as we attempt to make ourselves into
Something more than we were made to be
Stigmatised by those that we cared for
Gazing sadly through the eye of a slipknot
As I stop giving a shit, and start been what I am
Dead to the world, nothing in myself

Wasted times, everything is destroyed
Falling like autumn leaves around me
Decaying into nothingness as I watch
My heart is desecrated by thoughts of suicide
Sorrow wraps me in ghostly wings
Leading me to the end, I saw it in my dreams
I saw death in its eyes, in the eye of a slipknot

I hear your voice in my head, echoing
Despairing words creeping through my thoughts
This life of suffering, shards deep in my veins
Is one you have led yourself, torn asunder
Fading away into the fog, I watch you die
Under the night sky, the stars lighting your path
Crying, I watch the last good thing leave me

Led through life by our suffering
Picked up through a thousand mistakes
Made as we attempt to make ourselves into
Something more than we were made to be
Stigmatised by those that we cared for
Gazing sadly through the eye of a slipknot
As I stop giving a shit, and start been what I am
Dead to the world, nothing in myself

The stars light my path to suicide
As I stare towards my death
Life behind me, pushing me off
Through the eye of a slipknot
Towards a blackness I’ve always known
Track Name: Deep Into The Soul, This Sorrow Stabs
Hopeless and alone, on the edge of an abyss
Opened to the elements, hoping to be dragged
Into the vortex beneath, oblivions maw opened
Living in the name of emptiness, worthlessness
There is a void inside, and it cries lies at me
Trapped in this prison of mirrors, reflections
Reflections of a multitude of sins and horrors
Contributing to the abuse I receive daily
Take hold the knife, fear whispers to me
That should I fail, I will have to start over
Deep into the soul, this sorrow stabs
And I with it

Lifeless and cold, alone in the darkness
Tears fall like ice cold rain down my face
Blood from my wrists joins it on the floor
In the dirt, where I reside, a monarchy of pain
My eyes no longer see light, only the night sky
Illuminates my path, the dying stars above shining
Shining on a life filled with pain and terrors
The knife in my hand whispers for silence
Silence to reign over my life, for eternity
Deep into the soul, this sorrow stabs
And I die
Track Name: Empty Cries Of Isolation
Back to the dark I walk
Following the path set by life’s decline
For every fucking step I take
Takes me further from the pain
I want to be killed, I want to kill
I scream out my anger, hated and grief
But no-one is there to hear, abandoned
With empty cries of isolation ringing
In my ears, as I head towards my suicide

This is my madness
A handicap I wear on my sleeve
They showed me a world I could have
And I burned it to ash, scattered in the wind
Your world is pathetic, worthless
I’ll break the smile on your face
And make you wear Christ’s crown of lies
Breaking the skin beneath let the blood flow
Face what I’ve done, and bleed in the darkness

Sorrow pulses from within, breaking free
Abandoned by all, left in the dirt
A human life, worthless to me, broken
The black candle of my life is flickering
Dripping like my tears, rolling down the face
Lost in the maze of my mind, bashing on the walls
Desperate to escape from my own self hate
On my knees, screaming, crying, disturbed
By my empty cries of isolation, echoing in my chamber

On my mortuary slab, alone
Dust collecting on my lonely corpse
Blood clotting in my veins, decaying
I’m still trapped in my mind
Calling out to the world that won’t hear
A world that will never come for me
Alone, with my empty cries of isolation