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No God, No Sun, No Future

by Abandoned by Light

/
1.
Frost covered panes, coat the world in mist Reaching out to grasp the future just beyond my reach Drowning in the fog of my clouded thoughts Everything around me is destroyed The cold arms of anguish, embrace me in the deathly arms The lips of suicide kiss my forehead, telling me its time Time to die again, and again, and again and again Nothing survives in my world of shadow Mere memories of the sun lighting me Arriving to the end of a life as everything continues Without me, the rest keep on surviving Ignorant to the misery that stalks us all Waiting to embrace us all, drag us down To the hell that surrounds us on earth Living on the other side of feeling Watching the world continue to turn without me They don’t care about me, the man they turned Into the husk that remains, cascading tears Turn to dust at my feet, blowing through the trees Down into the grave, that I dug many times before Deeper and deeper, to escape the world of pain that lurks above Wandering through streets of no colour, grey to the horizon Purposeless in direction, people on either side, faceless I’ve become so numb, I don’t feel their touch Become so tired, so much more aware of myself The blood in my veins, burning like coals in a furnace of hatred The skin, torn to expose what was once human beneath Time to die, nevermore to feel, again, and again, and again This death to me, cold and eternal
2.
The sun sets, coating the world in a deep darkness As tears fall down my face, to fade into nothingness in the earth On my knees I pray, as I inhale the sweet scent of night Crisp to the face, cold to the bone I stagger towards death Fleeing from everything that hurt, and made me this way Lost in the streets where once I dwelled, Memories return, directing a new future for me to find One where I will not feel my agonies, sheer darkness Voices inside my head, companions till the end I tried so hard, and got so far, but now it doesn’t matter I lay by the side of rail-lines, feeling the earth turn beneath Watching stars go by, lights about to die in the heavens No God to accompany them, no force would condemn me to this My life of endless torment, where pain is the constant Now it is time to rest, time to leave it behind As dusk crawls out to witness the suicide of the sun So too will it witness mine, my retreat from life I feel the end approaching, walking up the tracks Cigarette butt in hand, I see the lights approaching Like opening gates to heaven, they appear I jump from life, and death
3.
Arriving, tortured into the world again Laid in a hospital bed, tears for the life I still lead Cursed to a state of purgatory in the ward of body and mind Vague images before my eyes, fleeting memories I want a blade, to pleasure the flesh with wounds and tears To feel is to die, to die is to never feel again Draped in anonymity, a patient on the ward of sorrow Lying on a bed of despair, never rising Why am I alive? Why do I survive in this torment? I hear the voices, whispers and influences on my mind Telling me I failed, but that there is still chance to die To decrease into nothingness, to leave them behind To live this life of suffering is to not live at all Repeated molestation by injustices This is not the meaning of my being But I cannot find what is
4.
A lone night in my asylum, my mind On an inpatient ward, trapped A world of pain, where feelings burn like embers Dying in a winters breeze In solitude, forgotten by all, I reside In corridors and dark corners, I reside Suicidal thoughts, thoughts of leaving Accompany me through my day alone Bladed tongues lick the skin, pain leaves Till the tool is taken from me by overseers Then left to melancholic resignations of defeat Alone again, in dusty corridors to dwell Death desire, and lonely tears, no pill to take them A lone night in my asylum, my mind Isolated from the world outside my window A danger to myself, inside or out, I will die I toy with my razorblade, flirting with the skin Teasing open the skin, to let lose my anger Running down my arms, I feel it ebb to nothing At night, broken and rotted dreams leave, suicide takes flight Carrying me away to a darkness Embraced like a lost friend, I follow it to nothing But then I wake, holding only the empty air Crying for what is lost, happiness and content A lone night in my asylum, my mind On an inpatient ward, trapped A world of pain, where feelings burn like embers Dying in a winters breeze In solitude, forgotten by all, I reside In corridors and dark corners, I reside Suicidal thoughts, thoughts of leaving Accompany me through my day alone When I sleep, they return to me, voices telling me to let go and die On broken and rotted dreams, suicide took flight And I try to follow, but only to wake again, and repeat it all To live, hate, die and repeat.
5.
A v of black swans sweep through the horizons past my frost coated window pane Cold is my soul, untold the forever present pain, leaving me alone inside A bleak red August nights, leading me hope for the grave Laid bare in my mind, a catacomb to my tomb, rotting rose in the rain Sick and weak, dosed up on drugs, numb to the rest of my world Fire scorched visions, death and destruction from my actions Wandering through these catacombs of the grande danse macabre My brothers and sisters of agony skulk along the walls Wandering through this nocturnal sorrow, rotting rose in the rain Drifting through this nether world of pains and despair Doctors cling to my bloody arms, speak of recovery and relief I believe nothing, devoid of trust and full of malevolence to my keeper Darkness dwells where once I had life, a void sucking in my hopes Time passes in my whitewashed cell, meaningless periods elapse My isolated world turns on, day and night merge into one grand hell A beast with seven heads and seven crowns lurks above me A puppet to his strings, throwing me onwards, down to dark domain Wandering through a nocturnal sorrow, towards realms I’ve never seen Encompassed by the blanket of darkness, forever holding me This netherworld, divorced from all others, where I reside, no fairytale
6.
Now it is time, for oblivion to flow in, like high tide To carry me away into the deep black depths The voice from within, calling me down To where the corpses will lurk, in shallow ground I am trapped by my reflection, telling all lies, revealing all I am the reason to hate myself, my own mind The blood in my veins, the beat of my heart, hatred Forever haunted by my failures, my ideas, my mistakes Never let go, remember them all, a presence in my head Carry me away, please carry me away to the depths My weakness, fear of what lurks beyond this reality But my destiny is to die in anonymity, amongst the masses By my own hand I must die, no others but mine, this is my fate I will never be free from this asylum, so I must make my end This is where it ends, I realise, this is where it ends Entranced by moonlight Lie back, wait for darkness My Screams draw them This Is Where It Ends
7.
Once more into the masses, once more towards them I want nothing to do with these shadows, but they are here Released amongst the populace, deemed one of them I still feel the thoughts of suicide, pressed in my mind But I try to resist, try to cling to what this is Once more towards the sunlight, blinding my eyes Life O’ Despicable Life, why must you resist? I try to fight, and fight for you, but always you leave And I fall back into the dirt I find myself calling home And realise, we’re all better off dead Once more into the masses, once more towards them I want nothing to do with these shadows, but they are here Released amongst the populace, deemed one of them I still feel the thoughts of suicide, pressed in my mind But I try to resist, try to cling to what this is Once more wandering, trying to find where I belong No avail, these streets are lonely for me, all the people nothing I don’t recognise these places, though I’ve been here before It is all just mist and fog, clouding my eyes to the lies Life O’ Despicable Life, is this what you want for me? Once more into the masses, once more towards them I want nothing to do with these shadows, but they are here Released amongst the populace, deemed one of them I still feel the thoughts of suicide, pressed in my mind But I try to resist, try to cling to what this is
8.
This is where it all began, the frost covered panes My world coated in mist, blanketing the sky Wandering through it all, unbeknownst to the people I feel the end approaching, though I wish to stay Dusk crawling out, to witness my life unfold Pieces come together, creating a picture of woe My self-extinction, horrors blinding the beauty Faith lost to my being, no longer my own Falling into myself, bid my body farewell Voices drowning out the my thoughts No God, No Sun, No Future, it’s all here Climbing higher, beyond mortal pain Hidden in plain sight, the tortured soul Crying out for help, tears frozen to the wind Bleak coated world, devoid of colour, nowhere I am still here, but for how long, I know not No God, No Sun, No Future, where it all began The embrace of death, cold and comforting Her arms embraced me, inviting me in But I never was to follow, fortunes changed This is where it all began, the frost covered panes My world coated in mist, blanketing the sky Wandering through it all, unbeknownst to the people I feel the end approaching, though I wish to stay

about

1st full official album release for Abandoned by Light.

It is a concept album about a tortured soul, but you have to work out the details

Karhmul - All Vocals, Instruments and Lyrics
Oliver Dahlback - Session Drums

credits

released April 14, 2015

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Abandoned by Light Sheffield, UK

Founded 2013 by Karhmul - solo Black Metal project from Sheffield, UK.

Check out my other band 'Nokturnal Ritual':
nokturnalritual.bandcamp.com

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